In which I begin to lose my goddamned mind…

Posted in Uncategorized on January 29, 2010 by melistress

Almost 14 years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby boy.  I was a young mother and I was on welfare.  I was also in an abusive relationship.  I filled out the birth registration and handed it to the nurse.  Not too long later a health card came in the mail.  The name was spelled wrong.  I contacted Saskatchewan Health and argued with them until they sent me a new one with that one little letter changed.  As birth certificates are apparently not free, I was unable to afford one.

Fast forward 14 years.  My son has been going by the spelling of his name on his Saskatchewan Health card.  He is gainfully employed but has never, until now, had the need for a Social Insurance Number.  His boss needs to issue T4’s.  Before February 28th. 

In order for me to get him a Social Insurance Number I needed a copy of his birth certificate.  I shelled out the $ 80 plus $ 30 for the rush.  The birth certificate came with the NAME SPELLED WRONG!  I called Vital Statistics to argue with them.  She tells me that it clearly states the WRONG spelling on the birth registration and that the mistake has been mine for 14 years, not theirs. 

IF I want the birth certificate changed, she needs the following:

1)  A letter stating the problem.

2)  A BAPTISMAL CERTIFICATE – HELLO!  NOT CHRISTIAN! 

3) failing a baptismal certificate – a copy of his report card from school as evidence of his name spelling which apparently can’t be forged at all (note my sarcasm)

A copy of his health card WILL NOT DO.  It is accepted as ID in many places for many things in this country and is on a piece of plastic but a computer generated report card is apparently better evidence of his name spelling.  But they prefer a baptismal certificate because GOD KNOWS everyone in this country MUST be F*cking Christian!

4)  More money.  And it will take a couple of weeks.  And if I want same day service, attach another $30. 

N2Q N!@#$%^&*()!!!!

I have no idea what that just linked to but I can assume it links to the fiery depths of hell where I must be, so I will just leave it there.  Probably not a good idea for you to click it. 

So what do I do?  This has a slim chance in hell of being resolved before T4s need to be sent in.  But my son has EVERYTHING including health cards and school records and bank accounts and his whole identity tied up in his name. 

**cry**

At least I had time to knit is all I can say…

Posted in Uncategorized on January 28, 2010 by melistress

There are a couple of people who park in my parking lot with great big trucks.  Considering we are urban and this is an office building, I’m not entirely sure what the need for great big trucks is.  Are they hauling insanely huge amounts of paper?  Erasers?  I bet they are urban cowboys.  You know, the kind who go to the Longbranch on the weekend in their c’boy boots and c’boy hat to drink way too much beer, hit on women with big boobs, and pee outside on the hotel next door?  I’ll bet that’s who they are.  Posing as straight laced businessmen during the day. 

Stupid urban cowboys!  Get your big assed trucks out of my parking lot so that the rest of us can actually drive through to get to OUR parking spaces!

This incredible inconvenience has only been intensified by the huge snow storm we had here on the weekend.  Usually nothing comes to a stop in Saskatchewan over a little snow.  It takes a lot of snow to shut down transportation and cause school buses not to run. 

What I ended up with in my little rural community with no wind protection is a LOT of snow.  There are 5 steps leading up to my front door.  My car parks right next to the steps.  In the morning when I woke up, the steps were not visible from my front door and the door was almost unable to open.  from about half a foot up from the landing to the end of the driveway between my car and the house was a rather large and very tall snowbank.  My car was almost not visible, but for the headlights and the snow had been blown so hard against the house that it was packed underneath my car.  We shoveled for hours, but eventually prevailed and managed to get my car out so that I could go to work in the morning (yay!).  I still didn’t end up going though because if the roads were too bad for the school bus, they were also too bad for me.  This lead to quite the pepsi shortage situation in my house since it was now Monday and we hadn’t been able to leave the house since Saturday. 

This did, however, do really good things for my knitting.  I have several finished projects for you to see. 

Parade of Finished Objects:

Sanders Mittens for The Diva in Cherry Tree Hill and Palette

Socks of Kindness in Crazy Zauberall - Tropical Fish

Socks of Kindness in Crazy Zauberball - Tropical Fish

Child's French Socks in Regia Hand Dye Effect

Socks for The Diva from remaining Cherry Tree Hill - Sugar Maple

In the mean time, I have obtained some Mini Mochi and some Mochi Plus on the sly from www.jimmybeanswool.com.  It is really beautiful and I couldn’t resist the urge to cast on right away with the Mini Mochi right away.  Along with the usual UFOs that may never be finished I have a pair of Nutkins on the needles in Indigo Moon yarn but because of the bias I have had to use a 2.75mm needle to accomodate my elephantine ankles.  I also have a pair of Sheri’s Posies socks on the go with the Mini Mochi. 

For giftmas my wonderful mother in law was very thoughtful and sent me yarn.  7 balls.  Patons Divine.  In black/grey.  I am very thankful that she was so thoughtful to send me yarn as she knows that it truly makes me happy.  This yarn is a challenge.  She sent a pattern along with and despite my initial misgivings about the yarn, I have cast on a gauge swatch.  I am trying really hard to see myself in a sweater made of this very soft and cozy yarn, but I just can’t get there.  If anyone has any ideas of what I can do with 7 balls of this, I would love to hear it.  Because I do want to use it. 

This is NOT a remaining piece of toupe from a bar fight with an urban cowboy. It is a gauge swatch.

Somehow I don't think that yarn will ever be that sweater.

Thoughts?  Ideas?  I’d love to hear them.

A Desperate Plea

Posted in Uncategorized on January 14, 2010 by melistress

While my children were safe the children of Haiti were dying.  Not just the children of Haiti, but the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, grandmothers and grandfathers were dying.  The citizens of Haiti were hit with a major earthquake.  The last I heard the count it was over 100,000 who have succumbed and who knows what the count will end up at.  We really take forgranted in our country how lucky we are, how stable mother nature has kept our country. 

I am joining in the effort to help the citizens of Haiti by joining other knitting bloggers in throwing up The Knit Signal.  Bookishgirl, Wendy has created this beacon for times when the knitting community is needed to pull together. 

There is so much you can do to help and donations are needed.  The benefactor of Knitters Without Borders, MSF, has had a hospital damaged in this earthquake and isn’t functioning as a hospital right now.  Should you decide to donate to MSF, please do contact Stephanie and let her know so that she can add to the Knitters Without Borders tally.  Stephanie also has information about Knitters Without Borders and MSF on her website. 

For those choosing not to donate to MSF, please do consider a donation at any of these places:

Canadian Red Cross

Oxfam

Hiefer.org

Alternatively, you can also text the word “Haiti” to 45678 and $5 will go on your phone bill towards the Salvation Army’s relief efforts. 

Every little bit helps, even if it is just your coffee money for the day.  If everyone went without their Starbucks for just one day it would make such a huge difference. 

*******************************

And now that the serious and important stuff has been taken care of, here’s a little cheer for you.  I finished my Kristi’s Mittens.  The pattern is lovely and quite easy.  I’m quickly becoming addicted to colour knitting, particularly as it pertains to mittens.  If you haven’t tried it, you really should.  The results are lovely.

It took me awhile to finish these mittens as I have an aversion to thumbs but I am so glad they are done now.  Knit Picks Palette is suprisingly soft and the colours are vivid.  All in all, the project was a joy.

 

Nany Nany Booboo Flaps

Posted in Uncategorized on January 7, 2010 by melistress

So today there were a couple of internet memes on facebook and because I am apparently sheeple with shallow and half-assed good intentions, I took part.  Neither of these memes really did anything to spread awareness of Breast Cancer but apparently that is what they were about.  Ok…well, I knew one of them was about breast cancer because I copied and pasted the words “Breast Cancer” into my status along with the rest of the meme.  Right away, Mr. I’m So Much Better Than You Because I Know Social Media Memes Are Stupid And Inneffective And Shallow And Stupid And You Don’t So You Are Clearly A Loser made a comment something quite similar to his name.  Then he gave me a suggestion that a much better way was to post an internet meme that he made up which had a link to information about fighting cancer… (please do click this link, btw.  He may be a little silly but he is smart).

In addition, Mr. ISOMBTYBIKSMMASAIASASAYDSYACAL suggested that a good way to talk about Breast Cancer and spread awareness was to share the stories of myself or people that I know affected by Breast Cancer.

My first thought was that I didn’t know anyone affected by Breast Cancer and that I am very fortunate that way.  But you know what?  That isn’t true.  I think that this escaped me because during their ordeals, I really didn’t know or wasn’t in contact with either of them.

My late Aunt Hilda had Breast Cancer and went through a mastectomy.  She never made any bones about it.  At that point in time, there were no implants with which to disguise the fact that she was missing one of her breasts.  This was all before I was born.  I wasn’t there for the pain and the heartache.  Her cancer never reoccurred and she passed away in her nineties after living many golden years subsequent to her fight with cancer.

In high school I knew a girl who was several years older than me.  Unlike most of our peers, she was always treated me with kindness.  We became reacquainted several times in our adulthood and the very last time she reappeared in my life (thanks to Facebook), she had been through a battle with breast cancer.  I know very little of her struggle but she is a proud survivor.  She rewarded her fight by resolving to live life to its fullest and took herself on a trip overseas.  We had fallen out of touch over recent months and I just found out that she had finally gone to the doctor about her back pain.  She went in for surgery and they found that her cancer had returned.  I know little more than that at this point.

So I do know people.  And they were and are people I have love and respect for.  But I don’t know enough of their struggles and their stories to treat it as my own and tell it to the world.  I know as much as I know of the people who surround me that know people with and surviving breast cancer.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t care.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t donate to breast cancer.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t think it is important.  At that moment today, it was the very least I could do to not ignore the meme.  It is not my belief that the meme will cure cancer, but at least I have added my name to the long list of people who feel that the subject is important to address.

Mr. ISOMBTYBIKSMMASAIASASAYDSYACAL has noted that I still haven’t changed my status to his meme, but I notice that he hasn’t done either of them.  I ask him, “What is he doing?”

The first meme was an inside secret and very silly.  Each woman was supposed to post the colour of her bra but only the colour…not why or what they were talking about.  For example, my status read “purple”, except that I didn’t know what it was all about and my bra was not purple but black and I had no idea that it had anything to do with breast cancer.

I noticed a little while later a girl on Twitter proclaiming the misogyny of the meme, stating that she refused to take part because it was “demeaning to women”.  When I questioned her on it, she told me that bras were sexual and she would be damned if she would minimized breast cancer by talking about the status of her clothing.  Now I think that bras can be sexualized but for the most part, are utilitarian.  After all, I’m pretty sure that some rather well endowed women are much more comfortable with their over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders on.  Sometimes “the girls” really need the support.  I am also pretty sure that men are more interested in what is inside the sometimes pretty packaging than they are in the packaging itself.

While I realize that the use of bras also enhances the appearance of women, making their clothes hang nicer, sometimes embiggening what might not be so big, etc.  I would also argue that making yourself pleasing to the eye, even if it is only your eye, and giving yourself a little boost of both boob and self-confidence, does not make you a whore.  In fact, it may have very little to do with anything sexual.  In fact, said woman may not even be interested in sex at all.  And if so, so what?  How does that make a bra an unsuitable subject to talk about when discussing breast cancer.  A bra is a symbol of our breasts, our femininity.  You can have femininity and still be a feminist.  Ask me how I know.

In short, my bra does not make me feel like a sexual object.  My bra does not make me feel like a slave to men.  My bra is a pretty little thing that holds my lifeless, child-bearing destroyed boobs.  And I like it.

On that note…here are 138 slang words for breasts

Get out there.  Educate yourself about Breast Cancer.  Do what you can to support awareness and help to find a cure, in whatever way you can.  These women are our mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, cousins, teachers, friends, lovers, daughters…

And please, share your story.  Help Mr. ISOMBTYBIKSMMASAIASASAYDSYACAL enlighten me.

Putting the Rogue Back in Prorogue

Posted in Uncategorized on January 6, 2010 by melistress

I’m not sure if any of these issues are important to the Canadians out there who read this blog but if they are, I strongly urge you to contact your MP.  Actually contact your MP anyway.  The prorogue that was called by our government and approved by our Governor General is a blatant stab at our democratic system that we hold so dear in this country.  It is important that you take a moment and think about this.  We get the government we deserve.  If we don’t take a stand on these issues and on election day, we get a government that runs the country like “we don’t care”.  In the past couple of days I have heard from Harper’s camp such statements as “Canadians don’t care about the detainee issue.” and “Canadians don’t care about the environment.” and “Canadians don’t care about the prorogue.” 

I have heard such statements as “We don’t want another election, it is a waste of money.”  Think about this for a moment.  Especially those of you with a Conservative point of view.  To have a conservative point of view is to “conserve”, especially money.  Are you ok with throwing away money on the salaries of all of our Canadian MP’s (not just the conservative ones and not just our PM) while they “take a break”?  Are you ok with throwing away the money on the salaries that they earned while preparing the bills that are on the table?  Are you ok with doing this over and over and over again?  This isn’t the first time Harper has prorogued government in his short term as the PM of our country and it won’t be the last if we continue to let him get away with it.  Is anyone willing to add up those salaries that have been laid to waste?  And not just the salaries of the MP’s but the many government support staff who have been working hard to assist our government in bringing those bills to the table?  There are quite a few of those bills.  And all of them lay dead in the water.  As if they never even happened.

Let us suppose for a minute that Harper is sincere in stating that it is really difficult for him to focus on the economy and everything else, therefore they need to regroup.  Conservatives are supposed to be GOOD AT the economic issues of our country.  This is what supposedly qualifies them for the job.  If they can’t govern the economy and all other issues at the same time (as many other governments have done in the past), are they really qualified to run the country?  If we support the prorogue, are we not saying that we agree that they can’t do the job?  Think about that for a minute.

I just want to post a list of bills that have been killed by the prorogue.  Have a gander. 

Legislation that will die due to the prorogation by Harper:

BILL STATUS

  1. 1) C-6 – An Act respecting the safety of consumer products Passed 3rd reading in the House of Commons
    2) C-8 – An Act respecting family homes situated on First Nation reserves and matrimonial interests or rights in or to structures and lands situated on those reserves Debated at 2nd reading
    3) C-13 – An Act to amend the Canada Grain Act, chapter 22 of the Statutes of Canada, 1998 and chapter 25 of the Statutes of Canada, 2004 Debated at 2nd reading
    4) C-15 – An Act to amend the Controlled Drugs and Substances Act and to make related and consequential amendments to other Acts Passed 3rd reading
    5) C-19 – An Act to amend the Criminal Code (investigative hearing and recognizance with conditions) Debated at 2nd reading
    6) C-20 – An Act respecting civil liability and compensation for damage in case of a nuclear incident Reported back from Committee with amendments
    7) C-23 – An Act to implement the Free Trade Agreement between Canada and the Republic of Colombia, the Agreement on the Environment between Canada and the Republic of Colombia and the Agreement on Labour Cooperation between Canada and the Republic of Colombia Debated at 2nd reading
    8 ) C-26 — An Act to amend the Criminal Code (auto theft and trafficking in property obtained by crime) Passed 3rd reading
    9) C-27 — An Act to promote the efficiency and adaptability of the Canadian economy by regulating certain activities that discourage reliance on electronic means of carrying out commercial activities, and to amend the Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission Act, the Competition Act, the Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act and the Telecommunications Act Passed 3rd reading
    10) C-30 – An Act to amend the Parliament of Canada Act and to make consequential amendments to other Acts Debated at 2nd reading
    11) C-31 – An Act to amend the Criminal Code, the Corruption of Foreign Public Officials Act and the Identification of Criminals Act and to make a consequential amendment to another Act Referred to Legislative Committee
    12) C-34 – An Act to amend the Criminal Code and other Acts Reported back from Committee with amendments
    13) C-35 – An Act to deter terrorism, and to amend the State Immunity Act Debated at 2nd reading
    14) C-36 – An Act to amend the Criminal Code Passed 3rd reading
    15) C-37 – An Act to amend the National Capital Act and other Acts Read 2nd time; referred to Committee
    16) C-40 – An Act to amend the Canada Elections Act 1st reading
    17) C-42 — An Act to amend the Criminal Code Read 2nd time; referred to Committee
    18) C-43 — An Act to amend the Corrections and Conditional Release Act and the Criminal Code Read 2nd time; referred to Committee
    19) C-44 — An Act to amend the Canada Post Corporation Act Debated at 2nd reading
    20) C-45 — An Act to amend the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act 1st reading
    21) C-46 — An Act to amend the Criminal Code, the Competition Act and the Mutual Legal Assistance in Criminal Matters Act Read 2nd time; referred to Committee
    22) C-47 — An Act regulating telecommunications facilities to support investigations Read 2nd time; referred to Committee
    23) C-52 – An Act to amend the Criminal Code (sentencing for fraud) Read 2nd time; referred to Committee
    24) C-53 – An Act to amend the Corrections and Conditional Release Act (accelerated parole review) and to make consequential amendments to other Acts 1st reading
    25) C-54 – An Act to amend the Criminal Code and to make consequential amendments to the National Defence Act 1st reading
    26) C-55 – An Act to amend the Criminal Code 1st reading
    27) C-57 – An Act to implement the Free Trade Agreement between Canada and the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, the Agreement on the Environment between Canada and the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan and the Agreement on Labour Cooperation between Canada and the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan Debated at 2nd reading
    28) C-58 – An Act respecting the mandatory reporting of Internet child pornography by persons who provide an Internet service Read 2nd time; referred to Committee
    29) C-59 – An Act to amend the International Transfer of Offenders Act 1st reading
    30) C-60 – An Act to implement the Framework Agreement on Integrated Cross-Border Maritime Law Enforcement Operations between the Government of Canada and the Government of the United States of America 1st reading
    31) C-61 – An Act to provide for the resumption and continuation of railway operations 1st reading
    32) C-63 – An Act to amend the First Nations Commercial and Industrial Development Act and another Act in consequence thereof 1st reading

I urge you to stand up for democracy in our country.  I urge you to contact as many people as you can, MP’s, the Governor General, and even our Prime Minister.  Tell them how you feel about this prorogue.  Urge them to go back to work.  Tell them that this monkey business is immature and NOT OK. 

Prime Minister Stephen Harper 613-992-4211  Twitter – @pmharper

Find your MP

Governor General 1-800-465-6890

Some good articles:

Cape Breton Post 

Rick Mercer

Hold on for a long ride folks.  This is something I really care about.  You may see a few posts from now on about the same issue.

I don’t think I will ever want to let go again

Posted in Uncategorized on January 4, 2010 by melistress

Last week, tragedy struck the little town where my children go to school.  Dividing the town from the school is a highway, a busy highway.  There are two pedestrian tunnels that run under the highway for people to take in order to cross to the school and back safely.  Sometimes these tunnels are used.  Sometimes they are not.

I think back to my own school days.  The school I attended had this big dirt hill on the playground.  It was perfect for sledding down if you brought your crazy carpet to school.  Through this hill was a tunnel.  This tunnel was avoided by a lot of kids, although some were brave enough to play in it.  The tunnel was dark and scary and sometime had the local hoodlums hanging out in it.  It wasn’t uncommon, either, for a kid who wasn’t going to make it inside to the washroom to “let it all hang out” in there.  It was a questionable place.

The tunnels that lead to my kids’ school is longer and it is taller.  It is tall enough for teenagers with their super dilated pupils to hang out in.  Thinking of it from my 10 year old’s perspective, I probably would be terrified to take it too.

No one knows why the 10 year old boy who was struck crossing the highway and killed on December 30th took the highway instead of the tunnels.  We know that he made his home in that community and therefore likely took the tunnel with his brothers and sisters every day to school.  We know that he was old enough that he should have been aware of the dangers of crossing the highway.  Maybe he was scared.

He was helping his sister deliver papers.

The little brother of this young boy is in The Diva’s class and his older sister, in the Nenster’s class.  We profoundly feel their sorrow, trying very hard not to imagine the scene when his father ran to his lifeless body on the highway.  We grab on to our children and hold them tight.  We try to teach them about the dangers that are lurking out there in the great big world.

When such a thing happens, it is all you can do not to hold on to your children for dear life and never let them go out into that great big world.  Eventually, we have to let them go.  We have to let them live.  We have to hope that all that we have taught them is in the forefront of their minds no matter what obstacle they might encounter and no matter what choice they have to make.

All we can do is all we can do.  And we are helpless.  Hug your children tight.  Teach them to be safe.

Ringing in 2010 With a Side of Proroguies

Posted in Uncategorized on December 31, 2009 by melistress

It is the end of 2009 and thank heavens!  Although I am not sure that we are off to any different start in this country.  Once again our government is at odds and our illustrious supreme dictator  elected Prime Minister has requested, once more, of our Governor General, to allow him to prorogue parliament.  Last year when he prorogued parliament (and yes, this seems to be an annual tradition of his now), he had lost the confidence of the house and the opposition had formed a coalition to topple his government.  Fortunately for him, most of our elected representatives have less maturity than The Diva and can’t seem to play in the sandbox together for very long before someone starts flinging poo.  And fling poo they did and the coalition dissolved, saving Mr. Harper’s ass from being handed to him and saving Canadians from YET ANOTHER election. 

Well, this year, we aren’t terribly clear what the issue is that has caused him to go to the Governor General (whose job depends on the Prime Minister – talk about a small conflict of interest!) and request a prorogue.  We know that there is the threat of a scandal regarding our efforts in Afghanistan.  It appears that we have a little issue regarding torture over there that SOMEONE needs to answer for and as he is our supreme dictator elected Prime Minister and therefore the head of our country, the onus just might be on him.  Maybe he thinks that if he gives everyone just a little more vacation time, they will forget about this and things will move along swimmingly come March.  Oh, except there is also that pesky issue of the Senate having too many Liberals and only passing watered down bills if they pass any at all.  So, it has been speculated that the Prime Minister is going to use his lovely newly imposed annual vacation time to stack the senate, that or attend the Olympics and pose for creepy pictures. 

What we do know is this.  Canadians don’t want another hellection.  We have voted in favor of forcing everyone to play nice in the sandbox.  We also know that Canadians are so pissed off that the majority of them aren’t even voting anymore.  This will likely not be remedied by another hellection.  We know that our tax dollars are still being collected and being used to line the pocketbooks of our elected officials.  We know that we earn our tax dollars by doing OUR JOBS and going to work.  Those of us who are not elected government officials do not have a prorogue option in our company benefits.  Sure, we are sick and tired of wasting money on elections that seem to keep electing Bloc Quebequois in Quebec where we need seats that represent the WHOLE country and that allow for Little USA (Alberta) and its lapdog (Saskatchewan) to keep the Conservatives in another minority government, hell, even Conservatives are tired of the minority government.  But should we be paying out salaries to people (coughharpercough) who shirk responsibility and takes their ball and goes home everytime things don’t go his way?  We are paying them to WORK.  TOGETHER. 

Our economy is in the proverbial shitter and parliament is prorogued.  How does this make for responsible democratic government?  It doesn’t.  To be quite honest, he’s got everyone by the balls including our Governor General.  I don’t agree with her decision to indulge him on this but I can understand where she is coming from.  For two years she has been backed into a corner and although Canadians don’t want her to agree to a prorogue, it isn’t Canadians who giveth and taketh away her job. 

Mr. Harper is not a majority leader in this country.  Although he is the head of his party, he holds a seat, just like anyone else.  In our country we do not vote for the head of our country, we vote for the “committee” that we wish to represent our interests.  The majority of seats in Canada are held by elected officials that represent interests other than Conservative.  When these elected officials speak, they actually speak for the majority of the country.  If Mr. Harper isn’t getting his way it is because the majority of the country does not feel that his way is in our best interests.  Mr. Harper fancies himself a king rather than a “Prime Minister” and has found loopholes in the democratic system to destroy democracy in our country. 

This is NOT OK.  So, in the event of another hellection, it is our job to let him know that this type of behaviour is NOT OK.  That we value democracy in our country and we will stop at nothing to get it. 

Happy New Year!  And enjoy your proroguies.

The Best Holiday Gift

Posted in Uncategorized on December 29, 2009 by melistress

Although I am rather partial to my E-Reader and the pretty little sparkly necklace that hasn’t left my neck since Giftmas (a gift from The Diva), there is one thing I got for Giftmas that was totally unexpected and something I will always hold dear to my heart.

Once upon a time I had a friend.  He was my best friend.  I could talk to him about anything.  We met when I started dating his friend and it took a very long time but eventually we just clicked.  He was there with me through many many bad times and many many good times.  Every time I think of him it is with a smile.

One day everything changed.  He didn’t approve of my boyfriend.  It turned out he was right, but in my desperation to be loved and my determination to be right, I alienated this friend and eventually alienated myself, subjecting myself to horrors I couldn’t possibly have foreseen.  We grew apart.

I’ve always held him in the highest regard despite the distance between us.  Friends like that are once in a lifetime.  I let him go.  It broke my heart.

A year or so ago I received a friend request on Facebook.  It was him and I accepted this request right away.  At least I thought it was him.  The profile was a little odd and self-loathing.  I received another friend request from him and he told me that it was an ex who had hacked into his e-mail, creating a facebook profile with it and he begged me not to talk to this person.

My heart dropped.  The only reason he had contacted me was to prevent further damage from an old lover.  I wasn’t interested in being even facebook friends only for damage control.  After a little while, when I thought he wouldn’t notice, I unfriended him to save my heart.

This Giftmas, this old friend requested my friendship once again on facebook.  This time there was no drama surrounding it.  This time it was because he simply wanted me there.  I don’t know where it will go from here but to know that I am wanted in his life, only this very little bit, is the best gift this year.

Screaming Mad!

Posted in Uncategorized on December 28, 2009 by melistress

Not that anything that happens in the world of celebrity really surprises me but I really think that it gives a very good indication on the value that we put on women in North America.  I mean really, first we put pressure on all women to starve, nip, tuck, poison, and generally mutilate our bodies beyond all recognition with a rather large emphasis on sex.  Then, when one of us has made a rather dangerous choice for a mate, our North American justice system sends out a message that, although women are no longer legally a man’s chattel, abusing them beyond recognition is no more than a misdemeanor.

On December 25th, 2009 the wife of Charlie Sheen was sobbing into the phone on a 911 call in fear for her life.  Her husband was brandishing a weapon and threatening to kill her.  Once the courts got ahold of him, they released him on $ 8,500 bail.  RELEASED!

BAIL!

$ 8,500!

Is that what our lives are worth?  Is that what his wife’s protection is worth?  $ 8,500!  For a successful hollywood actor!?  Pocket change!

Still in 2009, Chris Brown beat the living hell out of Rhianna.  I’m sure that most of us have seen the pictures by now.  If not, allow me to link you to them. It isn’t a pretty picture, is it?  In a vehicle in a residential area, Chris Brown beat Rhianna over and over and even bit her!  The courts sentenced him to six months community service.

COMMUNITY SERVICE!

I’m sorry, but what sort of message are sentences like this giving to men about the value of women in society?  Not too long ago I linked to a video about how investing in a girl would go a long way towards solving some of the issues we, as a species, have.  Now I don’t believe that we only need to invest in girls, not by a long shot.  But a man that I know made the comment that perhaps the video is sexist.  Our justice system won’t even invest in the safety of our women!  How is any sort of money spent on making women believe in themselves and better themselves in  any way sexist?

In my own country, our most recent minority government cut funding to The Status of Women program in Canada.  CUT FUNDING!

Within my lifetime I had the opportunity to view several movies that didn’t even bat an eyelash at the beating of a teenager’s girlfriend.  Within my mother’s lifetime she was required to have a cosigner for major purchases simply because she was female.  It was simply practice that a female needed a male to cosign for her.  Within my boss’s lifetime, he can remember a day when women were not allowed into bars.

We have come a long way as a gender but not as far as we may think.

My own experience with domestic violence and the justice system was this.  After leaving my abuser, my abuser phoned me and told me he was jumping on the next plane to kill me.  I called the police.  They told me that domestic violence is not a federal offense and therefore they would not look for him.  After talking with several professionals I was told that a first time offense would likely have a sentence of two years less a day.  In most cases, two years less a day is not even served.  Most of the time only six months are served once you figure in good behavior.  It was nearly pointless for me to even press charges as six months was only long enough to get him good and angry.  Six months was very dangerous.

Something needs to be done.  Domestic violence needs to be taken more seriously.  Women need to be taken more seriously.  Only when we learn to value women do we even have a hope of reducing the cases of domestic violence.  Please, I encourage you, no matter which country you live in, write to your elected officials and DEMAND that something be done.  DEMAND higher justice.  DEMAND to be valued as a human being.  Until we do so, we are no better off than the women in countries our soldiers are fighting in and we are kidding ourselves if we think we are.

Sony hates me but I have a cool E-Reader

Posted in Uncategorized on December 27, 2009 by melistress

You all left me over the holidays!  It’s OK.  I’ll forgive you.  This time.

After all, it isn’t just you that left me.  My internet left me too.  And I was so sad.  So dejected.  So lost.

The holidays around here were like hillbilly giftmas.  It was just like any other day but with presents!  The kids got us up around 7:30am and the mayhem commenced.  Thankfully the females in our house were terribly grateful for every offering the tree had for us.  The Diva has been skiing around our living room muttering nonsense lyrics to the Spice Girls on her ipod shuffle.  I immediately plugged in the pink e-Reader that Andrew blessed me with so that I could begin downloading software and loading it with books.

Yeah

That went well.

First, the software wouldn’t download because Sony’s servers were so overloaded from everyone who got an E-Reader for Giftmas this year.  Over and over I tried downloading it and eventually sought help from customer service via online chat.  (at this very moment I am # 69 in queue AGAIN).  They gave me the whole spiel about how it was a very popular item this year and that the servers were overloaded and to please try again later.  Good enough.

Later I try again.

My software allegedly downloads.  Yes, that’s right.  Allegedly.  My computer told me that it downloaded but apparently my computer cannot be trusted.  I don’t know why I would trust a computer with alzheimers anyway.  It isn’t like it remembers from day to day that it is authorized to play my itunes purchases, or even that itunes is even installed on my computer.

Back to the customer service chat queue.

The dude who comes on then tells me the exact same thing with the exact same words even though I already told him when I stated my problem to begin with that I had downloaded the software already but it is telling me that it can’t install it.  Over and over we go through the fact that the server is overloaded.  Finally I ask him “Are you telling me that even though my computer told me that the software downloaded, that it really didn’t download all the way and to ‘try again later’?”

“Yes, Melissa” he says.

Good enough.

I try again later.

Success!  I have only been at this for FOUR HOURS now!  The software installs and I am so excited I am damn near peeing my pants!  So I started to register an account with the e-reader store.  All goes well until I get to my financial information at which time it tells me that I am trying to change my financial information from outside my home country.

W

T

F!!!!!!!!!!!

The last time I checked I wasn’t on an Alaskan cruise.  The last time I checked I wasn’t in a little cottage in the Scottish highlands or traipsing around the ancient ruins of Greece!  The last time I checked I was in my cosy little home in Canada (and why is wordpress telling me I spelled cosy wrong?)

So back to customer service I go.  Once I finally get back online with an agent he tells me the EXACT SAME THINGS again.  I think they are required to copy and paste it word for word into every customer service call they get, which in turn, drives those of us who have contacted them at least four times already to the edge of sanity with a serious case of vertigo! (I am currently 53 in queue).

DUDE!  I have already downloaded the damn software!  The problem is that it is telling me that I am not in my selected country (Canada)!  The problem is my financial information can’t be updated!  He asks me “Are you using a valid US Credit Card?”

NO!

I am using a Valid Canadian credit card!  I’m in Canada!  I used Canada as my home country in my registration!

“Well, you should be able to use the Valid Canadian Credit Card then.”

I KNOW THAT!  But it won’t LET me!  It is telling me that I am not sitting where I know I am sitting and as a result I can’t spend any of my hard earned money in your store which will allow me to use the device that my husband spent his hard earned money on.

“Did you try another credit card?”

YES!

“Maybe there is something wrong with your credit card?”

NO!  I use it online all the time!  Both of them!

“Would you like me to change the information for you?”

(finally)

YES!  This would prevent me from taking my e-reader back to the store and throwing it at the nearest clerk’s head.  That would be nice.

After his struggle, we finally got my information in.  Now I think there is a Rogue agent for Sony running around with my credit card information.  But I am still so happy I don’t have a kindle.  I downloaded a couple of books.

At this point my internet had enough of me and cut out.  (37 in queue)

This evening my internet came back to me.  We put our differences aside and I promised to not to use it to yell at Sony anymore.

I have finished one of my e-books and I love my device.  I downloaded more books.  I tried to read my copy of The Host.

First, the device froze up on me.

Then, all the quotation marks and apostrophes were replaced with question marks.  This is the only book that is doing this to me.  As funny as that is, it makes reading the book REALLY distracting and I would be much happier with a print copy of that particular book.

I am determined to love my e-reader.  I suspect for awhile it is going to be a love/hate relationship.

On the upside, I am totally in love with my new socks. (23 in queue).

Rivendell By Janel Laidman Found in The Eclectic Sole

The pattern is Rivendell by Janel Laidman.  The yarn is Dream in Color Starry in Dusky Aurora

(15 in queue)